starbolts: (Default)
Hey. It's Zoki. I just thought I'd say something, because I'm the one who brought this all up. I thought you should know. After talking with mods and friends, I've realized that the doubts and fears that caused me to drop might actually be fixable. Maybe I'm not leaving after all---I definitely don't think I can handle the stress of the mod thing, but maybe I was too hasty. I gave up hope too fast.

Here's the part where I confess: the main reason I dropped was because I got caught up in an anxiety feedback loop about Trans 9's imminent death. I saw drops, not a lot of posts, and ill feelings and I held back and feared...and I don't think I'm the only one. I think I got caught up in worrying about the death and losing all of you so much that I forgot to relax and play.

The truth is...deep down, I don't really think that we're a lost cause. We have a great mission before us: saving the universe as friends, kicking some butt, having some laughs, and all topped off with a cool ending that I still love. And I really think it can still work with a smaller crew.

But I let my inertia convince myself that it was soon going to be no crew. And...maybe that's not so.


starbolts: (Default)

May 2012

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